your thong is hanging out like whoa
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
