I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
