dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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