so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
