Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Soap is not a condiment
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
