She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
