I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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