oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
