I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
