I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Damn victory sex feels great
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
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