Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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