dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
