I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
