you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
