no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
