Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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