I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
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