Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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