I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
