my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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