absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize