If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
