he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
My ass is underappreciated
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
