All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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