glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I need to sanitize my soul.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
