I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
