You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
