No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize