Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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