ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
