Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
