i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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