she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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