I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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