fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
