Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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