The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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