do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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