Yo dont text me then not text me
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
