Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize