even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
