I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
