K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
