Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize