Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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