SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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