Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
