ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize
