It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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