I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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