I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
