It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize