Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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