At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
