just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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