Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
