This is not my ceiling
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
