Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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