Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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