Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
