moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize