Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
another moral hangover. fuck.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize