as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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